Over the weekend, I did something I rarely do. I decided to just take it easy and lay around a little longer on Saturday morning and watch a movie. Then, later that evening, I decided to chill, sitting in the front of the TV.

During the a.m., I skipped my usual cardio dance, and decided against the hike I had planned. My body told me to just chill, be still and allow myself to rest. And I did. That’s another lesson I’ve learned during this journey. Sometimes, it’s best to just go with the flow; and if the flow is stagnated. Then pause. It’s ok. And it’s impermanent. It ALL is. Forgive Everything. Regret Nothing.

So, on Saturday morning, I watched Jennifer Lopez’s Amazon original, “This is me… now.” At first, I wasn’t and then I decided maybe there’s a reason I need to continue to watch. I’ve learned that to “go with the flow”, means just that. It means for me to go wherever Spirit guides. I listen to the small, still, inner voice much more frequently and consistently than I did in the past. And this habit is serving me well.

I believe God is speaking to us ALL the time in so many different ways, some more obvious than others. But here’s the caveat, we can only hear him when we are ready to listen and open our hearts and mind to the love and curiosity that are always there. Our ability to hear is sharpened when we release judgement—of ourselves and others. Then, and only then, does the real magic occur and genuine, authentic love expresses itself, in you, as you.

So back to my story…As I was guided to that movie, I watched it.  And I am so happy that I followed my first mind, my God mind. This movie/musical/long-form-somewhat autobiographical video, whatever it is, was phenomenal, for me, to me.

Here are some of the lessons that were re-revealed to me, as I watched.

1. DISCOVER who you REALLY, what you REALLY want, and why do you want it?
2. HEAL, EMBRACE, HEAR, and PROTECT your inner child.

After watching the movie, I watched an interview with Jennifer Lopez. When she was on The View, she shared that she had to fund the film herself because potential funders could not really understand what it was that she was trying to do. Then, I “heard” another lesson.

3. FOLLOW your heart. Believe in yourself, your vision, and go after it passion and faith that it will happen.

Jennifer’s persistence to produce this Amazon original, reminded me that, too often we allow other people’s limiting views, inability to see our vision, or just plain ol’ negativity and discouragement, to stop us in our tracks.   We have ideas with merit and are important to us. And we BELIEVE they will resonate with those who need them most. Yet, we allow the need for the approval of others to stall us. We allow other people’s opinions to prevent us from following through and pursuing our passion with zeal!

And Jennifer Lopez did not that. And in my opinion, that movie was fantastic, to me. The creative way she explained and explored fundamental TRUTHS was brilliant.

And then, on Saturday evening, I decided to watch “Where is Wendy Williams?”.

This documentary could not be more opposite than the Amazon Original I watched earlier in the day. First, let me just say. For the time I was able to watch, I was deeply saddened. After about 40 minutes, I was literally unable to continue to allow my psyche to absorb the pain that penetrated through the airwaves.

As an empath, I literally absorb the emotional pain of another. And although this is a tough “gift” to carry, I am so appreciative that I have a word to describe it!

I will share more later about how I was “diagnosed” with this REAL THING, back in the 1990’s. One of my first therapist recommended the book “A Sensitive Persons Guide to Depression”. I read the it and was instantly able to identify. I was a “sensitive person”.

What was referred to by the author as a “sensitive person” is what we now know as “an empath”. And now every other person has labeled herself as empath. But it took me over 20 years to really understand what it means to REALLY feel the pain of another; and how that shifts your own energy, thoughts, and behavior.

And now, after all these years, I know that I must protect my ENERGY at all costs. This is why PEACE is MY PRIORITY! And why I am committed to establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries that no one or no-thing can cross. And watching that documentary was a thing trying to encroach a boundary. So, I turned off the whole TV!

But here’s what I gathered from what I did see, Wendy Williams is a wounded woman who has not done the work. I am not here to judge. This truth has been revealed. The body does not lie. IF you think you are able to suppress all that shit, FOREVER, the body will reveal your trauma. The Body Keeps the Score is a great book that brought that message home to me in a clear, evidence-based manner that resonated with my scientific, curious mind.

Here’s the fourth lesson from my day of movie watching:

1. You cherish what you really love. And you want it to be its best! You care for it. You want it to be healthy, in ALL ways, always.

When you are struggling to DO something that you KNOW is good and best for you, go inside and ask, “What is holding me back from reaching my greatness?” Pay attention to how you demonstrate or fail to demonstrate self-love. Explore the reasons you are holding onto limiting beliefs about yourself. How are you relying on others, on external rewards to validate who you really are?

My final lesson:

• When you are content with any form of pain, be it physical or emotional, it’s because the reward for remaining the same is greater than the fear to go within to discover who you really are, and then, to have the courage to live it.

When you are cool with those extra 25, 10 pounds, ask yourself. “why?”

When you are content with not moving your body, “why?”

When you’re ok flowing in toxic circles and surrounding yourself with people who stunt your growth, who hurt you, and do not support you becoming the best version of you, reflect on “why?”

When you’re sick, tired, fatigued and carrying too much weight (literally and figuratively), carrying all that extra shit—holding onto things you need to let go (emotions, people, mistakes, unforgiveness) you WILL NOT fly! And if you try, there are consequences.

Now, you can overpack your checked-bag and the airline will still allow you to bring it. But at a hefty cost! And there are STILL weight limits. A plane can carry only so much weight and take-off and safely land.

The choice is yours to make. And for me, I’ve learned to travel lightly. To carry only that which I need! I release everything else and carry those things that are necessary for me to achieve the highest version of me!

I want to fly to the highest heights. Because along this rollercoaster of a journey, I’ve gotten great glimpses from the top. And the view is amazing.

Today, my encouragement to you, my gift to you is this REMEMBER/DECIDE/CHOOSE to lighten the load. Then, flap your wings, and FLY!

FLY = Faith+ Love+ Yes = 100%!

Have faith in your abilities. Love yourself enough to try. And say “YES” to ALL that is!

And before this plane takes off, put on your oxygen mask first!

with love,

indigo reign.